FAST FORWARD
CAST:
CHERYL GRODZNIC, 23, Receptionist at Chorney Buy And Barter.
THE TIME:
A weekday evening.
THE PLACE:
Premises of Fast Forward Video Dating Service - "Get Your Love Life To the
Good Parts Faster."
SCENE:
A video camera is in the foreground, on a tripod, facing CHERYL, who is
seated on a straight-back chair, facing the audience.
CHERYL
My name is Cheryl. I'm twenty-four. I'm originally from Pittsburgh. I
went to a two-year college. Mt. Bushie, up in Massachusetts. I majored in
psychology....Uh... What else?... I work as a receptionist at a small
company in Midtown. Very small. Actually, it's just me and my boss...
It's only temporary.
At least, it was supposed to be. I couldn't believe how hard it was to
find a job here. And New York is so expensive. At least, on my
salary...Oh right, that reminds me. I live in a one bedroom. I share it
with another girl. Woman. You're supposed to say woman up here, aren't
you? Anyway, her name is Joanie. She's got the bedroom. I don't really
think that's fair. You'd think we could trade or something. At least when
guys come over. Not that I have any guys over. I mean, that's why I'm
here. Oh God, I shouldn't have said that. Now whoever listens to this
will think I'm desperate. I'm not, really. At Mt. Bushie, I had more
dates than a lot of girls. Of course, no one had too many. I mean, it was
all girls, for Pete's sake. Forget it. All I mean is, it's hard here. To
meet people. That's why I'm doing this. I said that, didn't I? Even
Joanie has trouble, and she's pretty. Not that I don't think I'm pretty...
Wait a minute. Can we turn this off for a minute?... Are you sure?...
Well, OK. I just don't want to come across as stupid is all. Where was I?
Joanie. Yes. Joanie has hardly any more dates than me. And she's got a
bosom. With a capital 'B'. That's sort of what it looks like, actually.
Like you blew up a 'B' and strapped it on sideways.
Oh God, why am I talking about my roommate's breasts, for Pete's sake? Now
you're going to think I'm a lesbian. And on top of that I went to Mt.
Bushie. An all girl's school. Like I don't know what everybody says about
those places. But that's ridiculous! Look, I wouldn't be here if I didn't
like men, right? At least, sometimes I do. They really can be pigs. Like
they're doing you a favor by tugging at your underwear. Not that I'm
frigid or anything. Don't get me wrong. If people only knew. But when
you meet someone at Friday's and you end up in a doorway and things get a
little intimate, just because you didn't get what you wanted then and
there, well there was a taxi idling across the street, for Pete's sake, and
it was late, but there were people coming by, that's not so hard to
understand, is it, so after all that why take somebody's number if you're
not going to call? That's what Idon't get. What's so hard about picking
up the phone?...
Well, anyway, my hobbies are needlework and going to the movies, and I'm
really looking forward to meeting some new people, especially since this is
costing me an arm and a leg. I guess that's it.
Did I do OK?
THE END
COPYRIGHT 1997, Jim Chevallier
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